Finding Closure: How to Let Go and Start the New Year with a Lighter Heart
This past summer I took a walk in the woods. It was one of those rare days when the sky was a vibrant blue, the humidity low and the breeze cool and clean. The woods were alive with a symphony of birdsong. It was magical.
Until I got back to my car. That's when I looked down and realized that my shoes and pant legs were covered with burrs that I had picked up along the way.
Whether 2023 felt like a beautiful walk through the woods or an endless slog through the mud, I'm guessing that you picked up some "burrs" along the way. These "burrs" might be unresolved issues, disappointments, heartbreaks, or even lost opportunities that stuck with you through the year.
They could be noticeable things like the end of a significant relationship, failure in a significant task, or even traumatic transitions such as the loss of a loved one or the end of a job. But they might also include the never-ending slew of everyday stresses and pressures that chip away at your sense of peace and wellbeing.
You can't start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.
- Unknown
As we head into a New Year, how can we experience a sense of closure or at least peace with these burrs? The act of closure is not just about waving goodbye to the past year or dumping your emotional burden. It's about processing what has happened, garnering insights from the experiences, and finding a way to move forward with greater wholeness.
So how can you make peace with your past and let go?
Begin by acknowledging that your past, with all its ups, downs and sideways, has helped shape the unique individual you are today. Embrace the understanding that your experiences, especially your struggles and failures, have made you stronger and wiser.
Next, practice forgiveness. Sometimes, this means forgiving others who may have wronged you. Other times, and equally important, it means forgiving yourself. If you're holding onto the weight of past mistakes and regrets, it's time to forgive yourself. Understand that you did the best you could at the time with the knowledge and skills you had.
To forgive others, try to understand their perspectives, empathize with their situations, and acknowledge that they, too, are human and capable of making mistakes. However, forgiving oneself often involves a deeper personal journey.
Letting go doesn’t mean that you don’t care about someone anymore. It’s just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself.
- Deborah Reber
Begin by identifying your faults and shortcomings, then accept them as part of your human experience. Embrace the understanding that to err is human; hence, you should allow yourself the grace and space to make mistakes, learn, and grow from them.
Recognize the efforts you made, even if they weren't successful, and appreciate your courage in standing up and moving forward. By so doing, you pave the path to self-forgiveness, leading to a lighter and more whole you as you usher in the New Year.
Acknowledging your feelings is a significant step towards letting go as well. It's crucial to recognize, rather than suppress, your emotions. Give yourself permission to grieve, be angry, or feel hurt. Only by facing our feelings can we start to process and eventually overcome them.
You don’t need strength to let go of something. What you really need is understanding.
- Guy Finley
Next, talking the "burrs" you're carrying can provide significant relief too. Whether it be with a trusted friend, a family member, or a professional therapist, this step can help put things into perspective, gain insights, and work through emotions.
Finally, focus on the present and future. It's essential to remember that the past is gone, and it cannot be changed. The future is shaped by the decisions and actions taken in the present. Cultivate present-moment awareness. Mindfulness meditation practice is a powerful tool to train your monkey-mind to stay focused on the here-and-now.
Wrapping Up
Wrapping up, remember that the journey to finding closure is personal. It's a marathon, not a sprint. It's perfectly alright if you sometimes stumble along the way or need to pause and take a breather. You're already taking wonderful strides by acknowledging what you're wrestling with and deciding to confront it.
Alternatively, perhaps you're feeling stuck and can't seem to find the clarity you're looking for. In such cases, never underestimate the power of an outside perspective. That's where coaching can help.
Through coaching, you can address what's holding you back and craft a strategic pathway to letting go. Imagine walking into the New Year feeling light, invigorated, and ready to embrace life's infinite possibilities. You hold the power to create this reality, and I'm here to help you every step of the way. Contact me at mariancoaching.com. Here's to a brighter, more whole you in the new year.
