The Gift of Discontent
The movie The Matrix begins with the main character, Neo, wrestling with a sense of discontent. He intuits that there's more than he's experiencing and longs to experience it. Sound familiar?
Most of us experience seasons of discontent, times when we long for more than what we're currently experiencing, discontent with "what is". Unfortunately, our culture doesn't value discontent. Instead we're encouraged to distract ourselves. We…
Shop
Drink
Self-medicate
Binge on Netflix… or cheesecake
Or we tell ourselves to "get a grip and be grateful for what we have".
But what if discontent isn't a curse? What if it's not something to be avoided or ignored? What if it's a gift, a gift worth unwrapping, savoring and attending to?
Many of my clients come to me because they are experiencing a sense of discontent with the way things are. They're usually looking for relief, a quick fix, a way to feel better fast. My job, as a coach, is to help people to stay in the tension and discomfort until they can learn what their discontent has to teach them. It isn't easy. Or comfortable. But it is often transformative.
Here are a few things to consider the next time you're feeling a sense of discontent.
Lean in. Resist the urge to run, hide or numb the discomfort. Stay in it. Breathe through it. Pema Chodron wrote, "Sticking with that uncertainty, getting the knack of relaxing in the midst of chaos, learning not to panic - this is the spiritual path." [1]
Listen. Rather than resisting your discomfort, open your heart and listen to what it's saying. Practicing mindful meditation can help you quiet your racing thoughts and hear what your heart and soul are longing for.
Author Glennon Doyle put it this way, "Discontent is the nagging of the imagination. Discontent is evidence that your imagination has not given up on you." [2]
Neo didn't run from his discontent. He pursued it. And it changed everything for him. What if we did the same?
3. Linger. It's so tempting to chase the quick fix, but rarely will that satisfy your soul in the long run. Patience is a virtue that will reap rich rewards when it comes to our seasons of discontent. Liz Milani recently wrote, "...the quick fix will always and can only ever be an illusion at worst and temporary at best. It does nothing to improve your situation and most often, only serves to damage it…. the quick fix will not serve you how you want it to. Only lasting change can do that. Only showing up here and now can do that. Only being with yourself and these feelings and these circumstances can do that." [3]
4. Learn. Our discontent has something to teach us. How would you move through a season of discontent if you trusted that your feelings arose from a wisdom deep within you? Would you listen more carefully? Approach them with a deeper curiosity? I'm surprised how often our feelings of discontent are actually calling us to live into our true selves, to live more authentically and walk pathways that align more clearly with our core values.
As difficult as discontent can be, dare to believe that it can be transformational too. When it feels uncomfortable, remember the opportunity for growth that lies ahead. Don’t ignore the feelings; instead, lean in and listen deeply so you can learn what the season of discontent has to offer. The journey may not be easy but if you put in the effort and dedication to focus, you may find yourself on a path of greater discovery than you thought possible. And if you ever feel stuck or overwhelmed, coaching can help show you the way with personalized guidance tailored specifically to you. So why not take advantage of your current season-of-discontent gift by scheduling a free consultation today? Taking charge of your life is just one step away.
[1] When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron
[2] Untamed by Glennon Doyle
[3] The Practice.co by Liz Milani
