The Stories We Tell Ourselves: A Hidden Hazard in Fire Service Leadership
Chief, Captain, Lieutenant, Battalion Chief – leaders in the fire service. You operate in a world defined by urgency, risk, and the need for rapid, decisive action. You assess scenes, analyze building construction, predict fire behavior, and make critical decisions under immense pressure. You rely on facts, data, and experience. But what about the assessments you make about people? What about the narratives you construct, often instantaneously, about their intentions, capabilities, or motivations?
I'm talking about the stories we tell ourselves.
It happens constantly, often below the level of conscious thought. A firefighter shows up a few minutes late for shift change. The story might immediately flash: "He's slacking off again, doesn't respect the schedule, probably out late last night." A neighboring department is slow to respond with mutual aid. The story: "They always drag their feet, hoarding resources, don't really care about helping us out." A city council member asks pointed questions about the new apparatus budget. The story: "She's always been anti-fire department, looking for any excuse to cut our funding."
Sound familiar? These internal narratives – these stories – shape our reality, influence our interactions, and ultimately, dictate our leadership effectiveness. And here’s the critical point: more often than not, especially under stress or when faced with ambiguity, the stories we default to are negative. We assume incompetence before seeking clarification, suspect ill-intent before considering alternative explanations, and attribute behavior to character flaws rather than situational factors.
This isn't just a minor cognitive quirk; it's a significant leadership hazard, capable of eroding trust, crippling communication, damaging morale, and leading to poor decision-making within our departments and in our interactions with external partners.
Why We Spin These Yarns: The Psychology Behind the Stories
Understanding why we do this is the first step toward managing it. Our brains are wired for efficiency. To navigate a complex world, we use mental shortcuts, pattern recognition, and heuristics.
Need for Coherence: We crave explanations. When faced with incomplete information (why was that firefighter late?), our minds rush to fill the gap, creating a narrative that makes sense to us, based on our existing beliefs and experiences. Ambiguity feels uncomfortable, so we create certainty, even if it's based on assumptions.
Confirmation Bias: We tend to seek out and favor information that confirms our pre-existing beliefs. If we already have a slightly negative perception of an individual or group, we're more likely to interpret their actions through that negative lens and disregard evidence to the contrary. The late firefighter? If we already thought he was a bit lazy, his lateness confirms our bias.
Fundamental Attribution Error: This is a big one. We tend to attribute other people's actions to their internal character ("He's lazy") while attributing our own actions to external circumstances ("I was late because traffic was terrible"). This creates a double standard in how we judge ourselves versus others.
Negativity Bias: Evolutionarily, paying attention to potential threats (negative stimuli) was crucial for survival. This bias can linger, making us more attuned to and likely to assume negative intentions or outcomes, especially in high-stress professions like ours where threat assessment is constant.
Past Experiences: A negative encounter with one individual or situation can unconsciously color our perception of similar people or future events. A bad experience with a previous budget negotiation might make us automatically distrustful in the next one.
In the high-pressure, high-stakes environment of the fire service, these tendencies can be amplified. Stress narrows your focus, making you more likely to rely on quick judgments and established biases rather than thoughtful consideration.
The Leadership Problem: How Negative Stories Sabotage Your Department
As leaders, the stories we tell ourselves don't just stay in our heads. They leak out in our tone of voice, our body language, the questions we ask (or don't ask), the assignments we give, and the decisions we make. Here’s how this becomes a critical leadership failure:
Erosion of Trust: Trust is the bedrock of any effective fire crew or department. When leaders consistently jump to negative conclusions about their members' intentions or capabilities, trust disintegrates. Firefighters who feel constantly judged or misunderstood are less likely to be open, honest, or willing to go the extra mile. They feel devalued and disrespected. Imagine the impact on a crew if the Captain constantly assumes the worst about their motivations.
Damaged Morale and Engagement: Nobody thrives in an environment where they feel unfairly judged or perpetually suspected of incompetence or ill-will. Negative stories create a climate of fear, cynicism, and disengagement. Why bother suggesting a better way to rack hose if the Lieutenant’s go-to story is "He's just trying to show off/avoid work"? This directly impacts retention, recruitment, and overall job satisfaction.
Poor Decision-Making: If our decisions are based on inaccurate stories rather than objective facts, the outcomes will inevitably suffer.
Personnel Decisions: Promoting, assigning, or disciplining based on a negative narrative ("He's not leadership material," "She's always questioning authority") rather than a full picture of performance and potential is detrimental. We might overlook talent or unfairly penalize someone.
Operational Decisions: Misinterpreting a neighboring agency’s actions based on a story of incompetence or rivalry could lead to refusing help when needed or escalating minor disagreements into major conflicts. On the fireground, assuming a crew member's hesitation stems from fear rather than spotting a genuine hazard could be catastrophic.
Resource Allocation: Fighting budget battles based on the story "They're out to get us" can lead to unnecessarily adversarial relationships and hinder productive negotiation based on actual needs and fiscal realities.
Stifled Communication and Feedback: When leaders operate from a place of negative assumptions, open communication shuts down. Team members become hesitant to voice concerns, offer suggestions, or admit mistakes for fear of confirming the negative story the leader already seems to believe. Constructive feedback becomes impossible if the leader has already decided the person "won't listen" or "can't learn."
Hindered Collaboration: Effective fire service operations rely heavily on inter-agency cooperation and internal teamwork. Negative stories ("That shift is lazy," "Engine 5 always leaves the dirty work for us," "Admin doesn't understand the streets") create silos, breed resentment, and make genuine collaboration incredibly difficult.
Missed Opportunities for Growth and Development: If a leader’s story about a firefighter is "He’s reached his peak, not capable of more," they may fail to provide challenging assignments or mentorship opportunities that could unlock hidden potential. We limit people based on the narratives we’ve created about them.
Turning Down the Volume: Becoming Aware of Your Internal Narratives
The good news is that we can learn to manage this tendency. It requires conscious effort, self-reflection, and a commitment to challenging our own assumptions. It’s a critical leadership discipline. Here are some strategies:
Hit the Pause Button: The moment you feel that flash of anger, frustration, judgment, or certainty about someone else's negative motives – STOP. Recognize that feeling as a trigger. This internal "pause" is the crucial first step. It interrupts the automatic jump from observation to negative conclusion.
Separate Fact from Story: This is perhaps the most powerful technique. Ask yourself:
What did I actually observe? (Observable data: "Firefighter Smith arrived at 07:05." "Captain Jones questioned the ventilation tactic.")
What is the story I am telling myself about why this happened? ("Smith is lazy." "Jones is undermining me.")
Can I be absolutely certain my story is the only or correct explanation? (Almost always, the answer is no.)
This practice mirrors the "Ladder of Inference" model developed by Chris Argyris – recognizing the climb from observable data to assumptions, interpretations, and beliefs. Stay as low on the ladder as possible initially.
Challenge Your Narrative - Seek Alternatives: Actively brainstorm other possible explanations for the observed behavior, focusing first on neutral or even positive intent.
The late firefighter: Could there have been unexpected traffic? A sick child? A car issue? A genuine misunderstanding about the start time?
The Captain questioning tactics: Could she have seen a hazard you missed? Had a relevant past experience? Was she simply trying to ensure everyone understood the plan? Was she offering a potentially safer or more efficient alternative?
The budget-questioning council member: Could they be genuinely trying to understand the complex needs? Facing pressure regarding other city budgets? Simply doing their due diligence as fiscal stewards? Assume positive or neutral intent until proven otherwise. This doesn't mean being naive, but it does mean giving the benefit of the doubt.
Get Curious, Not Furious: Instead of reacting based on your negative story, approach the situation with genuine curiosity. Replace judgment with inquiry.
Instead of thinking "Why is he late again?", try asking (at an appropriate time), "Hey, everything okay? Noticed you got in a few minutes late."
Instead of thinking "Why is she undermining me?", try "Captain, thanks for bringing that up. Can you walk me through what you were seeing there?" or "Help me understand your concern about that tactic."
Use phrases like: "Help me understand...", "Can you tell me more about...", "What was your thinking when..." This opens dialogue, gathers actual information (facts!), and often reveals that your initial negative story was completely off base.
Examine Your Biases and History: Be honest with yourself. Do you have pre-existing biases against certain individuals, groups, shifts, or departments? Are past negative experiences coloring your current judgments? Recognizing these patterns is key to preventing them from automatically dictating your stories.
Seek Objective Data and Input: Before solidifying a negative narrative, especially for significant decisions, actively seek out more data. Talk to others involved (discreetly and professionally). Consult records. Look for patterns of behavior, not just isolated incidents. Sometimes, asking a trusted peer or mentor, "Here's what I saw, and here's the story I'm telling myself. Am I missing something?" can provide invaluable perspective.
Practice Empathy: Try to put yourself in the other person's shoes. Given their role, pressures, knowledge (or lack thereof), what might their perspective be? What pressures might they be under that influence their actions?
Cultivating a Culture of Curiosity, Not Judgment
Beyond individual self-awareness, the most effective leaders foster a departmental culture where challenging assumptions and seeking understanding is the norm.
Model the Behavior: Let your team see you pause, question your own assumptions, and ask clarifying questions instead of jumping to conclusions.
Encourage Psychological Safety: Create an environment where firefighters feel safe speaking up, asking questions, admitting mistakes, and even challenging assumptions (including yours) without fear of blame or retribution based on a negative story.
Integrate into Debriefings: Use After Action Reviews (AARs) and post-incident analyses not just to discuss what happened, but why people made the choices they did. Explicitly discuss assumptions versus facts. "What information did you have at the time?" "What was your interpretation of the situation?"
Promote Direct Communication: Encourage team members to address concerns or ambiguities directly and respectfully with each other, rather than letting negative stories fester and spread through gossip.
The Takeaway: Leading Beyond the Narrative
Chiefs, leaders – the stories we tell ourselves are powerful. Left unchecked, negative narratives act like a corrosive agent within our departments, damaging trust, hindering performance, and undermining our leadership. The ability to recognize our own tendency towards negative assumptions, to pause, to separate fact from story, and to choose curiosity over judgment is not a soft skill; it is a fundamental leadership competency.
It requires discipline, humility, and consistent practice. But the payoff is immense: stronger teams built on genuine trust, improved decision-making based on clearer understanding, enhanced collaboration, higher morale, and ultimately, a more effective and resilient fire service.
Start today. Pay attention to the internal commentary running through your mind during interactions. When you feel that negative judgment arise, ask yourself: "What story am I telling myself right now? And is it really true?" Your leadership, and your department, will be stronger for it.
