Unlocking Your Inner Confidence: Two Essential Keys

Trevor was sitting in his office, staring out the window and feeling uninspired. He had a prestigious job, a beautiful home, and a loving family, but something was missing. Despite all the external trappings of success, he felt like a fraud. Deep down, he knew something was out of alignment. He just couldn't put his finger on it.

Trevor's problems began in his younger years. He had always been a people-pleaser, eager to make others happy, even at the expense of his own happiness. As a result, he had never learned to prioritize his own needs or to identify what truly mattered to him. His lack of self-awareness was now catching up to him. It was time for Trevor to take a deep look within and uncover the values that would bring him true fulfillment.

Trevor began to reflect on his life and consider what he truly valued. He realized that he cared deeply about authenticity, compassion, and contribution. He wanted to live a life that was true to himself, that treated others with kindness, and that made a positive impact in the world. With these insights in mind, he decided to make a change. He began to prioritize his own needs and values, rather than bending to the will of others.

Trevor's life changed dramatically after he aligned his life with his core values. He was happier and more fulfilled than ever before. He had more energy and passion for his work and relationships, and he felt like he was finally living a life that was authentic and true to himself. Trevor discovered an inner confidence he had been missing his entire adult life, and it felt good. All it took was some honest introspection and a willingness to make a change.

The Importance of Inner Confidence

In my coaching practice, I've discovered a fundamental truth that applies to both myself and my clients: inner confidence is the cornerstone for personal development. While there are countless strategies, thought patterns, behaviors, and tips for enhancing your life and self-esteem, they all rely on one essential foundation—the authentic you that resides deep within. The challenge is summoning the confidence to unearth this true self. Here are the two critical keys to nurturing genuine inner confidence.

1. Embrace Your Core Values

Personal values hold a special place in my heart, and I unapologetically emphasize their importance. They represent the bedrock of true inner confidence. Your values reside at your core, buried beneath layers of experiences and external influences, yet they are the building blocks and cornerstones of your identity. Values can encompass beliefs, progress, family, fun, nature, achievement, or freedom—anything that profoundly matters to you.

Ever wonder why certain people or situations leave you feeling angry, frustrated, demotivated, or deflated? It's likely because one or more of your values are being disregarded, suppressed, or neglected. This results in a negative emotional experience as it denies a fundamental aspect of your authentic self. Conversely, moments when you feel incredibly alive, amazing, or invigorated are when your values are being honored.

Your values are uniquely yours, and no one can take them away from you. You can have unwavering confidence in them because they are constant, waiting for your acknowledgment and alignment. Discovering your values enables you to make choices and structure your life around them. This simple act allows you to live authentically in the real world, and it feels extraordinary because it means you are permitting your true self to thrive.

Unsure of your core values? Want to learn how to better align your choices with your values? Download my newly revised Core values workbook.

2. Exercise Your Confidence Muscle

Confidence is akin to a muscle; it requires consistent exercise to prevent atrophy. Unlike visible muscles such as biceps or glutes, locating your confidence muscle can be challenging. How do you build physical muscles? You engage in targeted exercises over time until you witness the desired results.

Similarly, confidence demands exercise. Imagine you are someone who avoids risks, meticulously fulfilling your daily responsibilities but never venturing beyond your comfort zone. You might frequently talk yourself out of trying something new, citing fear or self-doubt. This cautious approach keeps you in familiar territory, but it also diminishes your confidence.

To strengthen your confidence muscle, you must be willing to take risks, whether they are significant or minor. You need to stretch yourself in uncharted directions, experiment with new endeavors, or tackle existing tasks in novel ways. Open yourself to the wealth of possibilities around you, and challenge yourself to expand your knowledge, actions, and self-concept. The more receptive you are to risk, opportunity, and potential, the more confidence you will require, and consequently, the more confidence you will cultivate.

Your confidence muscle awaits your commitment. The question is: What will you do to exercise it?